Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Futility of Preaching

"Beginners feel such passion about divine things and are so devoted to their spiritual practices! Sometimes they presume to teach, rather than learn." - St. John of the Cross in Dark Night of the Soul 
 
"Our bodily sense is slow because it is bodily sense and is bounded by the physical. It is sufficient for the purpose for which it is made, but it is quite incapable of grasping and holding things as they run on their appointed way from their beginnings to their endings." -- St. Augustine in Confessions
 
"Open your heart to him and with great trust abandon yourself to him...O most devoted Jesus, you are the source of all our hearts' secrets and you dwell in the hearts of those who love you." -- Thomas a' Kempis in On the Passion of Christ
 
Horses that live in the wild are linked up, in my mind, with unreal beauty, incredible strength, blazing speed, and unrestrained freedom. Wild horses summon images (I'll blame it mostly on movies that I've seen) of both enticing mystery and tranquil peace.
 
Imagine a large (but not too large) fenced in area out in the wilderness containing well over 1,500 of these wild horses....Horses that had somehow been tricked into this unnatural pen. Imagine this unheard of number of brilliant creatures being in this trapped condition long enough for all of them to be going stir crazy, the prison being so unnatural and disturbing for them. Imagine that the creators of this bondage had no real plans for the amazing animals, pinning this mass of energy and power because they thought surely it would come in handy or be valuable to them somehow, some day.
 
Imagine stumbling upon this unusual and disturbing site. Imagine some powerful hand throwing open wide the gates of this pen, and that every one of the hundreds of stallions instantly "felt" their freedom at hand and, with all of their strength and glory, simultaneously and unanimously sprinted out of the fence and out into the wilderness freedom where they belong. Running and running, unable to stop as their hearts are unleashed along with their legs.
 
Imagine somehow getting to steal away on one of the backs of these stupendous horses during this emotional and physical release of excitement and energy. Imagine feeling the power of this massive exodus...any one of these creatures represents far too much power for you to handle...but imagine getting to ride with them, as an invited guest of the horses, as they refuse to stop enjoying their regained freedom by slowing down.
 
Can you imagine? Just to see such a collection of horses in the pen would be a life-long memorable event. Just to be standing in the distant woods to only hear the thundering sound of them running would be a life-long memorable event. Just to be above then on a cliff to watch them pass by like running water would be a life-long memorable event. Just to be within 500 yards and feel the ground pulsate underneath your feet would be a life-long memorable event. But to BE WITH THEM FOR THE RIDE? We can only imagine such a thing. So, thank God, we have imagination and can have a taste of the experience of such things.
 
But once you do imagine the experience, I then want you to imagine reigning one of those powerful horses in, attaching a plow behind it, getting on it's saddled back and then making a measurable, real, tangible, and visible groove in a plot of dirt. Imagine that you are doing so in order to explain what your experience was when you were riding like the wind in the midst of that thundering herd.
 
Strange request, perhaps. Most would agree it to be an impossible assignment.
 
This is often how I feel in my job as a preacher or teacher. I have this incredible life of getting to know God, and if I have the least bit of success at doing so, it is such an overwhelmingly powerful and emotional and mind-blowing experience that I have difficulty knowing where to start in trying to communicate it through the humble means of a sermon series, or a Bible Class, or a devotional talk. Quite frankly, it's partially why I haven't been writing often to this (most beloved) list of people in my life on email. I have trouble knowing where to start, what story to tell, or which "stream" of thought to put my boat in and float down with you.
 
To tame just one of those horses would be hard work enough (and forget about asking it to behave indoors behind a pulpit or podium). And to saddle him so I could ride him before a crowd would seem almost cruel for such a noble steed (not to mention it would feel like an unappreciative, maybe even treacherous act, after being his guest for such an experience). And to attach the heavy plow and make a mark in the dirt, while it would be visible, explainable, and done slowly enough for an audience to understand what is happening, would fall utterly short of describing even one little detail of the experience I had.
 
I spent 3 days in a monastery last week with a bunch of men who have decided to throw in the towel on trying to teach about what they know of God, and instead indulge in the incredible ride of just being with Him in every moment of every day, and while with Him, pray to Him that the world would know Him, too.
 
Many of you have asked me, "what do those monks do all day?" and "where is the mission of Christ in what they are doing?" and "what Kingdom difference are they making on actual people in the world?" Good questions, all of them.
 
[For a moment, let's put aside the 3 guys I quoted at the beginning of this email and the millions of actual people in the world that their writings have had significant Kingdom impact on (2 of which were either actual monks or reclusive enough to have a monks lifestyle, and the third contemplative enough to be one as well.]
 
But before we let them answer, let's you ask the same question of yourself, as I am of myself..."What do I do all day?" and "Where is the mission of Christ in what I am doing?" and "What Kingdom difference am I making on actual people in the world?"
 
The monks would answer confidently (and Biblically), "To love God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength is the greatest thing a man can do, according to Jesus Christ. So we spend all of hearts, souls, minds, and strength doing just that. And loving others as ourselves is just as important, according to Jesus Christ, and the greatest thing we can do for our neighbors is go to our God on their behalf in prayer and petition. And while we are with Him, we are doing just that."
 
Okay, so there's way more to this powerful "wild horse ride" than this one thought, as I hope you are gathering from my parable. It goes beyond the monastery visit, beyond the thoughts I'm presenting, beyond what I can even get my own heart, soul, mind, or strength around. Such as it is with God.
 
Getting to know God is linked up, in my mind, with unreal beauty, incredible strength, blazing speed, and unrestrained freedom. And his exact representative, Jesus Christ, summons images in my mind (I'll blame it mostly on my hearts apparent undying need of him) of both enticing mystery and tranquil peace.
 
Maybe one day, I, too will get to indulge in Practicing the Presence of God (A book title, by the way, of another monkish-type dude name Brother Lawrence) as my full-time vocation. But as impossible as it is, I love the current assignment that He has given to me of trying to teach about it.
 
May God bless us.
 
 
 
 

1 comment:

Coleman Yoakum said...

Brian,
I again appreciated the words. I know how it feels to have had an amazing experience and come down from the mountain and try to tell people about the things you have learned and the great revelation and/or epiphany you have had, only to have them stare at you blankly and nod.

I noticed you are on the docket for HU's Lectureship in about a month. I look forward to meeting you in person.

Until then be Blessed.

Grace and Peace,

Cole