Friday, March 18, 2005

Sons of the day

“You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.” – St. Paul, to some of his favorite people

 

“The distance between what we learn and what we teach needs to shrink until it eventually becomes nothing.” – Yours Truly, to the servant-leaders of the Southwest church (some of my favorite people)

 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You're playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Nelson Mandela, to some of his favorite people in an inaugural speech in 1994

 

Whenever I exercise the little-used “muscle” of my identity that knows there is nothing real to fear from letting the whole truth about myself be known, I am reminded of how surprising it is to other people. I see it through their reactions.

 

Some ignore it, acting as if I am speaking some different language that they can’t understand, because they see no usefulness in attempting to do the same themselves. My self-righteousness is what I battle when I sense this, trying to condemn those who “won’t do it” as unenlightened.

 

Some admire it, acting as if it is a maturity only attainable by an elite few, dooming themselves to a life of never attaining such “internal development”. My pride is what I battle when I sense this, trying to get me to agree with them as if I am something special.

 

Some condemn it, acting as if I am being “completely inappropriate” or “doctrinally wrong” or “not careful enough” in what or how I share, and my defensiveness kicks in, trying to convince me that I “have a defense” or that I have something to defend.

 

Some idolize it, acting as if they should walk around feeling less than me, and when I sense this, I must battle the pay-off my ego enjoys if I agree with them in the slightest.

 

Some are intimidated by it, acting as if they need to impress me with their wisdom, or intellect, or giftedness in some area of their lives, in order to offset how they are feeling. When I sense this, I must battle my desire to exit the conversation quickly, because my self-esteem is far too fragile to handle such a battle of comparison, that I feel (true or not) I will most surely lose.

 

Some partner with me, acting as if we are on a journey somewhere together, neither better than the other, and neither worthless in the least. This is the largest group of people I deal with, praise God, and I must battle indulging in these relationships, although I don’t battle too hard against it, because something feels right about it and mutually beneficial. The only reason I battle at all is because I don’t want to give up totally on the others just because they are harder for me to deal with. I want to still love all people.

 

It’s so crazy, when I stop and think about it, because I’ve listed a bunch of reactions in people that I have witnessed when I have simply and purely told the truth. I know that we all “belong to the day” and yet, all of us feel some kind of safety staying in the dark. In the above descriptions, I find my own reactions to others perfectly outlined as well, and once again feel a deep sense of community with the whole human race.

 

So here’s to our fearful and mutual darkness dwelling, team. May we grasp its uselessness and see clearly the light of day that we are meant to live in. May we let our own light shine without regard to how it will affect others, leaving those glorious things to God? May we cast aside our fear of all the real-but-powerless consequences that our fellow man inflicts on us when we “tell the truth” and lay hold of the real-and-powerful freedom that comes when we do.

 

Here’s another truth that may be hard to believe, and may summon different reactions from people who find it out…I really do love you.

 

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