We don't know how to love each other

I had a good cry tonight.

Tomorrow I bring Jesus' words that really challenge the extent to which we must love if we want our identity to be wrapped up in our sonship with God. We must love our enemies.

I've been listening to the people in this church. I watch how they act around each other. I see clearly the hurt behind the talk. People who love talking about loving the lost have given up on each other.

We don't know how to love each other. We don't know how to be loved by each other.

I guess I could wax philosophical and talk about how the previous generation was so private and that hinders vulnerable conversation with each other and with the younger generations, but all I would be saying is that "we don't know how to love each other."

I guess I could get analytical and explain the realistic nature of humanity that doesn't 'risk' their real selves, warts and all, unless the recipients are deemed "trustworthy", but all I would be saying is that "we don't know how to love each other."

I guess I could be rational and justify some of the deep hurt and fear of hurt that has come between my brothers and sisters because of past trauma, past betrayal, past hurtful words or actions, past lies...but all I would be saying is that "we don't know how to love each other."

I was hurting tonight because I wanted to challenge and inspire my church family to be Christ's church by really doing the hard work of loving their enemies when I realized that it is easier and less emotional for the people I've talked to and watched to imagine having love for a far-off character like Saddam Hussein than it is for them to actually go to a brother who has offended them in the ancient past and say, "I love you still." Our "enemies" are among us...they are this church's ex-spouses, ex-friends, ex-elders, ex-deacons, ex-brothers and sisters, ex-ministers...and they are this church's current spouses, friends, elders, deacons, brothers, sisters, ministers.

Jesus didn't say they would know we were disciples of Jesus because of our love for our enemies, but by our love for each other. Only tonight did I get instruction from God to point it out that for so many of us, it's the same thing.

May God's Spirit bring us to brokenness before each other, pridelessness with each other, the heart of Jesus' understanding that made him say, "Father, forgive them...they didn't know what they were doing."