Audience of One

"The more one sees life, the more one feels, in order to keep from shipwreck, the necessity of steering by the Polar Star, i.e. in a word leave to God alone, and never pay attention to the favors or smiles of man; if He smiles on you, neither the smile or frown of man can affect you." - General Charles Gordon

 

"I wonder how far Moses would have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt." -- Harry Truman

 

"I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless." -- The Audience of One

 

When I am alone with no one looking, no one to impress, and no one's approval or applause is being sought...and this is a rare time indeed, for I am always conscious of, surrounded by, and helpless to the power of the audiences around me...and it is just myself and God, I think about Jesus.

 

I get really obsessive about Jesus, the human being...I want to know him, imitate him, talk like him, look like him, repeat him. Just today I took my Bible to the toilet with me and looked for all the ways that Jesus addressed God when he prayed, because I want to address God the way Jesus did. Yesterday I was talking to my buddy Landon about something really important, but had to stop and wanted him to join me in brainstorming all the ways that Jesus got his disciples to look inwardly at themselves, because I want to help people do that like Jesus did. I'm going next week to speak at the Pepperdine Lectureship (which someone told me today that they were really impressed with that. Why is that? Because of the audience that will be listening? The institution that is represented? Or because the Audience of One will see me more clearly in Malibu, CA than at a youth retreat in Houston?) and it afforded me the opportunity to ask myself, "What is my one message to 'the brotherhood', if I had only one?" You know what my answer was? That we should be striving to be what our sign's say we are...churches that are actually OF Christ.

 

I love Jesus. I get distracted from him all the time, even with my serving of him sometimes, but ask my wife, even when someone asks, "What does your husband do for fun?" she has to say, "think about or talk about Jesus." (Okay, she would say skydiving, too...but even that just makes me think of the analogy of having life or death faith in Jesus!)

 

It really is an obsession, almost to the point of fanatic, and I think I might just actually worship the ground he walks on. When my friend Jerry Cox went to the Holy Lands years ago, I just had one request, "Bring me a rock from someplace that Jesus was." A rock!!!???!!!

 

I'm really strange about this, and I wonder where it comes from. I've been a preacher for almost year now, and preached about 45 sermons or so, and when I look back at them, you know who's teaching or example I've used pretty much every time? You guessed it, it was Micah! (Just kidding, it was really Jesus.)

 

I know where it comes from. It's from those few times in my life that I found myself really alone with God. Every time...not sometimes...every time I actually find myself spiritually connected to the Father, I hear the same thing, every time..."It's about my son, Brian. It's all about my son. If you want to love me with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, then get to know my son."

 

And He is the only One I want to perform for.

 

Most of the time, my performance is diluted with my focus on a bunch of other, wrong, audiences. It's then that I compromise my singular focus on worshiping, imitating, and following Jesus. But even on my compromised days, I at least know where home is. I know the way. I know the truth. I know the life. And I know why Jesus said so forthrightly "No one comes to the Father except by me."

 

It's because Jesus knows how much his Dad loves him. And he knows the grace that will abound for those who love God's son.