Monday, May 19, 2008

Fearless, unoffendable living

"The man who fears no truths (especially about himself), has nothing to fear from others' lies." -- Thomas Jefferson

"I guess you may have already figured out that the key to living a life of faith is the willingness to wholeheartedly - and fearlessly - embrace and speak the truth.  And speaking the truth is not just about being decent and moral with others; it is about being ruthlessly truthful with yourself, no matter how painful.  Without being willing to know and honor your own deepest truth you will hinder your progress on your spiritual path, because you are dishonoring your connection with the Sacred, which knows absolutely everything about you, and adores you." -- A.C. Ping, in
Faith
 
"The truth will set you free." - Jesus Christ
 
I have a friend who called me up quite frantic and ticked off the other day because he over heard some one "trash-talking" him on her cell phone when she wasn't aware he could hear. The stuff she was saying was a mixture of some 'true facts' about my friend, but with a venomous spin and/or attitude that was coming from her own woundedness and fears. Both of these friends of mine, the one trash-talking in order to avoid her own truth, and the other angry and out of control to avoid his.
 
I have another friend quite tired and burned out. He has a lot of people depending on him, and a horrible sense of duty that serves those around him much more than it serves God or him. The truth would cause a revolutionary change with in him (and most likely around him), and therefore, some major adjustments not just for him, but potentially for a whole bunch of people that he loves. He keeps pluggin' away, though, not desiring to, but avoiding the truth in order "to not let anyone down" or "do the wrong thing".
 
I have another friend that is totally entangled in his own self-defeating behaviors and games. His anger runs deep, and he's so lost swimming around in the consequences of his brokenness and the brokenness of those closest to him (who he keeps expecting life from), that he can't even get his head up over the water that is drowning him. let alone climb up to a high vantage point high above his circumstances to see clearly any truth that might save him.
 
I have another friend who finds life in his work. He loves it, uses it to serve God, and makes everything else take a knee to it. He's a volunteer servant-leader at his church, and believes that his duty there is more "spiritual" or "godly" or "honorable" than his serving God at his work. The end result is him constantly committing to things in service to his church and expected of him as a volunteer, but rarely keeps those commitments, and depends on the grace and work of others to maintain this over-crowded life. In the wake of this "values clash" is a bunch of guilt, constant confession, and re-commitment for him, and a bunch of judgments, disappointment, and sadness from everyone else. The truth would free him to "do less better," but his frantic life has him either "totally on" at work, or "totally off" at home hiding from people.
 
I have been all of these people (and in truth, they all still show up inside of me when I'm afraid or think I need to prove something). And I am after all of these people. I am passionate for the freedom and peace partially because of my deep love for them, and partially because I'm still fighting for it myself, and fighting for them (oftentimes against them) is God's way of blessing me with the very things I want for them.
 
I fear no truths. And I say that with humility, knowing how extremely weak I am, and how vulnerable I can feel in any given moment, totally shuddering and sometimes crying when I must walk into a truth that feels like it will hurt me. But I have learned that walking into truth brings life, and with that foundational understanding of life, walking into lies does nothing to me but expose them for what they are. Lies. Powerless, unless believed.
 
So I encourage all of you, my friends, to tell me the truth. The hard truth. I promise to weigh it carefully, glean everything I can from it, and even if it hurts initially, to acknowledge it and not hold it against you in any way if I conclude it is not entirely accurate. I would ask that you do your best to speak it in love (and to do so with everyone in your life), but that even if you can't, I will keep my side of the bargain.
 
But even more than that, I encourage all of you, my friends, to ask for the truth...from yourself, from God, from your friends and co-workers, your parents, spouses, children, ex-spouses, step-family, former bosses, employees, and especially anyone you know with out a doubt will tell you the uncensored truth in love. If you have even one of these people in your life, you are among the richest on the planet.
 
May we be healed into fearless, unoffendable lives.

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