Letting Go and Needing Nothing

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves." - Paul, in Romans 15:1

Let me ask you a very significant question that you will want to re-read the above quote before you answer. It is a question that has resounding implications...so be careful. It can flare up your ego, or your pride, or your false-humility, or your concern to appear spiritual, or your convictions about your perceived "rights"...or a number of other things that could make your knee-jerk answer completely untrustworthy without you really knowing it. 

 

Ready? Here it is: Do you consider yourself strong or weak?

 

If you will allow me, let me usher a few of you past some things that may make this question difficult.

• There are some of you who don't know you are weak, because you have been taught by someone that it is not allowed. You have never allowed yourself the honest question, afraid of it's potential (and not necessarily accurate) answer. So you answer way too quickly, and with convincing over-emphasis, that you are strong. Let that go just this once.
• There are some of you who feel diminished right when you hear the question. You have been crushed, humiliated, and hurt and are still suffering. And so you answer way too quickly, with obvious guilt and shame, that you are weak. Let that go just this once. You may answer the same way, but don't do it for that reason. 
• There are some of you who have come into true humility, have found strength in your weakness, and therefore want to exhibit your strength once again by humbly acknowledging that you are weak. Let that go, too.

Okay...so with as much sobriety and honesty as you can find, do you consider yourself strong or weak?

 

Paul's statement, if it's true, can help us answer this question (and help us help each other answer this question).

 

1. Do you bear with the failings of the weak? - How often do you shake your head disgusted with another? How often do you make the sarcastic remarks about another's shortcomings? How often do you emotionally "write someone off" when their faults just become too inconvenient, painful, or confusing for you? Harold J. Ockenga said, "Those who would follow Jesus now must develop His kind of patience in all sorts of human relations, no matter how exhausting or overwhelming." My point is that many who would say they are strong, rather than "bear with" the failings of the weak, they run from, hide from, label, dismiss, gossip about, and otherwise release themselves from responsibility of the weak. According to Paul, this is not what the strong ought to do.

 

2. Do you bear with the failings of the weak in order to please yourself? - I've been in the people-loving business for 22 years. When I started, I beared with the failings of the weak, to be sure, but it wasn't for the weak. It was for me. Strange, I know, but the wrong reasons to do this right thing are innumerable. I can do it in order to feel like I'm useful. I can do it in order to look good in the eyes of my wife, or kids, or parents, or clergy, or God. I can do it because I'm dying for someone to do it for me and hope that by doing it, some sort of karma will insure that it comes back to me. I can do it trying to relieve my guilt for past failures. My point is that, according to Paul, we should do this right thing of bearing with other's failings, but we ought also do it for the right reason. In his next breath, Paul made this clear by saying, "Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."

So...are your strong or weak?

 

I've had a couple of weeks of unbelievable demands (or opportunities, depending on how you look at it) to be with some very excited, ready-to-transform, but scared and hurting people. I've been tempted to run, hide, overcommit, pursue, and/or stress at every turn, but instead just "let it go" and "need nothing" from any of the cast of characters in this particular scene of the play. When an opportunity to connect to someone in their pain comes, it is usually overwhelming, and you instantly start "hanging on" and "needing to succeed"...and this sabotages your ability to have peace, your ability to have joy, and ultimately, your ability to be a part of how God is "creating space" for Him to do miracles right before your eyes.

 

If I can get past my own need to prove to you that I don't mean what I'm about to say as arrogant, I would tell you that these last two weeks I have been strong. I'm not always, but I am not only bearing with the failings of the weak, I am loving doing it purely "for them"...as if these friends are not a means to an end, but an end unto themselves for me. And it is beautiful to experience. And there is nothing more for me to do other than focus on "letting go" and letting it happen, and "needing nothing" from anyone or anything on earth.

 

"Look at the example of Jesus, with His calm acceptance of every emergency and every other situation in life.  He never hurried.  He never pursued.  He never 'tried to make it happen." - Harold J. Ockenga

 

"Be still and know that I am God." - Psalm 46:10