I needed him to say it 22 times

"How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest — and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man." - King David

It has been a long, long time since I've had one of my middle-of-the night wake up calls from God. But I had one last night.

 

It was 3:30am, and there I was wide awake. It is a very unusual experience for me to wake up in the middle of the night. Every time, when I assume it is from God, and am faithful in getting up, going to my prayer room and either opening my Bible, sitting in contemplative silence, or journaling to one of my kids, or some similar quiet exercise...I am surprised by some Word from God that is personal, timely, exciting, comforting,and or directing.

 

As I lied awake in bed, feeling that familiar feeling, I expended the energy to remember some of those times.

 

Like the time when I was struggling with my "public speaking" ministry. I was avoiding "speaking engagements" as much as was possible without being outright and obviously neglectful of my youth ministry in Houston. In addition to the normal speaking expectations and necessities involved in being a youth minister, I was sitting in the tension of being invited to speak abroad (which stroked my ego) and wanting to be humble (which was the spiritual way of saying 'no'...when what I was really afraid of was "failing", which would've crushed my ego). Years of this being semi-navigatable climaxed with a few months of intensity due to the increased frequency of saying "no", moving me to really needing a specific word from God to trust and obey, regardless of the cost or consequence to my self (and self-image), taking me and my judgment out of it. Then it happened...the wake up call. I forced myself out of bed, asked God what He wanted, then opened my Bible and cast my eyes on these words: "Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city." Wow. It was just icing to note that 1) these were words of Jesus, 2) spoken to Paul "one night in a vision".

 

I obeyed. It was hard. It took faith. And I have been healed. I am still speaking, faithful to that Word, regardless of the inward fears that still sometimes come. For me, it is a personal inside joke between me and my Father, and a tribute to His power and glory, that I am now a preacher.

 

Then there was the time that is more sentimental to me than it is "amazing". My wife and I were about to have our second child, and we were looking for names (we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl) that we thought were both 1) cool and unique and 2) spiritually inspiring and meaningful. We were really stuck. Then it happened...wide awake in the middle of the night. I forced myself out of bed (which is the only way I can get out of bed in the middle of the night - a legitimate and begrudged step of faith required of me for these treasures that only later am I grateful for), and went to the prayer room. I don't want to imply that these sweet words always come from "randomly opening the Bible", but I did it this time, too. I skeptically squinched up my face when I opened to I Kings 7 and started reading one of those boring parts of the Bible where it's outlining the dimensions, workers, and items surrounding the building of the Solomon's Temple. I almost tried again, turning to the New Testament, hoping to hit the gospels for a word from Christ, but decided to read on and "see what happened." My eyes got to a weird pause in the details about the 2 bronze pillars erected on the porch of the temple, where Solomon named one of of them Jakin and one of them Boaz. I glided by it, but couldn't keep the name Jakin from ringing in my head. I looked up it's meaning, which is "God Establishes." Great meaning, but I wasn't sold on it. The next morning, my wife had the same reaction. But it grew on us over the following weeks to a weird place of really loving it. So much so, that we used it in both our boy and girl names. Jakin Major for a boy, which means "God establishes greatness", and Callie Jakin for a girl, which means "The beauty that God establishes." We had a girl. Then 2 years later, we had another boy. We used both names. While that's valuable enough a gift between me and my Father, I expect I have yet to see the glorious reason He had us give them that name. And I expect I will learn that in and through my children as they grow up with those names.

 

There are more...but you get the point. So let me tell you what happened last night. 

 

Nothing.

 

Nothing at all. You know why? Because I rolled over and waited out my "wide-awakeness" for 45 minutes to get back to sleep.

 

And this morning...I am full of regret. I feel like a man in poverty, who didn't have to be. A feel like scarcity is upon me like a bandit, and it is due to my own faithless laziness. How often does God interrupt my sleep? Not often. How many times has He proven faithful to give me the riches of His Presence expressed to me in some unspeakable and personal way? Every one of the few times.

 

Twenty one times I find the words "get up!" spoken by Jesus. I've read all of them before. Many, many times in all of their various contexts.

 

But today I am getting my own personal set of those words, from my Lord, for my own personal context. I guess I needed him to say it 22 times.