Friday, January 15, 2010

A Question I am Ashamed to Answer

About 10 months ago, I received an email that I quickly deleted. It had a strange foreign name attached to it, some generic sounding title, so it didn’t make it through my “maybe that’s not junk mail” filter when I did a quick scan of my Inbox.

As it turns out, that deleted, unread email came from a desperate man in India, asking me to personally mentor him as a student of Christ, a minister at a church, and a world changer.

I only know this because, fortunately, he sent a second email. In it he was pleading, “Dear brother, please do not hesitate to write me, please encourage me in the truth. Please help and guide and explain what ever I asks questions. I have some questions to ask. Please give me permission to ask more.”

I replied to him, and it began a wonderful dialogue that I have thoroughly enjoyed and learned from. He found me in a somewhat random way (yeah, right) through a search engine that led him to the website of the Southwest Church in Amarillo, TX… the group with whom I seek the best possible life.

As he said, he had many questions, and was looking for someone to ask. Among them:

  • What is Non-Institutional institution?
  • What is conservative?
  • What is liberal?
  • What is mainstream?
  • What is one cup churches and non class Churches? (He saw these words in the recent issues of Christian Chronicle news paper.)
  • We train few youths as preachers, is it wrong or non-Biblical?
  • Can I have your sermons and lessons in printed form for use in our daily ministries?

From here, he started sending me some of his curriculum and lessons. I began to notice that his good work had within it a heavy focus on teaching “how to do church right” and not so much on “how to love and live like Jesus Christ” (You can search my blog archives at www.brianmashburn.net if you are interested in why this stood out to me), and our dialogue included discussions about this. Perhaps one of the greatest treasures I have from G. David as a result of our dialogue is this one:

“Our God is helping us through you to change this bias towards to imitate Christ and better preachers and ministers of Christ, more like Jesus and more focus on Jesus. I thank you very much for your excellent guidance in Christ Jesus our Lord, you are in my heart, because you have changed it to focus on Jesus and Jesus only.”

Let me pause here and tell you…if it is true that I can play any role whatsoever in helping anyone (particularly leaders of others) to focus on “Jesus and Jesus only”…that is enough for me and an answer to countless prayers of mine.

So…praise God. His questions then moved into this realm…

  • How to come to the image of His son? - Rom 8:29.
  • How to attain the fullness and stature of Christ? - Eph 4:11-13.
  • How to walk and what are the foot steps of Christ? - I Peter 2:21.
  • How to walk as He walked? - I John 2:6.

What an impossible joy it has been to wrestle with these magnificent questions.

I respect this man so much. He and his family minister with limited provision, and with zealous faithfulness. He has invited me over for a visit to teach and encourage. I hope to someday go, because I know that it is I who would be taught and most definitely encouraged (His little boy looks like he’d be my favorite!)

My Family 

I’ve gotten to “be with” him as he traveled, while injured sometimes, thousands of miles to take advantage of an opportunity to teach people about Christ in less than ideal circumstances…

Bike-2

As one of his questions indicates, and on top of all of his daily demands, he had collected an assortment of eager young men and started a preacher training school! Here are his students…

school

I even got to “witness” him slave away, beg, plead, and organize relief for the people of his church and city when the horrible flooding of India last year hit Chennai hard…

INDIA  Relief-1

I was always eager and ready to continue our mutual learning from each other’s lives and ministries. I always looked forward to his questions, and speedily replied to the best of my ability, until he asked a question that stopped me in my tracks.

He asked, “How much does your church provide for you per month as the preacher?”

I froze in front of my computer screen.

I didn’t want to tell him.

It’s not that I think I’m a bad steward of the financial resources given to me.

It’s not a self-esteem thing, that I don’t think I’m “worth” what I’m paid (been there, done that).

Nor is it that I take some kind of pride in how much I’m given, as if that is some sort of measurement of my worth.

And it is certainly not that I’m ungrateful.

What was it? Why was I ashamed?

I am provided more money than I ever dreamed I would be when I decided to go into ministry. But that doesn’t seem like it should be enough to make me feel ashamed.

I’m not making more than might be expected for people who have a comparable position that I have (in the U.S., that is) according to a survey taken by ACU), but that’s not enough to keep me from feeling ashamed.

Help me out here…

And as a bonus…why does it seem like I’m breaking some kind of rule just be bringing this subject up?

6 comments:

Ginger said...

Two thought....first it maybe that you are hesitant to answer because in comparison to what the funds he has available, your yearly salary exceeds anything he will be able to make in 5 years. Or two, though there are different expectations for your as a Christ follower who is a "preacher/minister" than for those of us "lay people" you tend to not put focus on those differences. To that end, I suspect somewhere in your mind you have a hard time believing you are getting paid to do this "job". Besides, even if you weren't paid to do this, very little of your life would be different if you weren't a "preacher/minister". Sunday mornings/Wednesday nights might look different but very little in the fullness of your life would change.

Sammie said...

I want to thank you for your post "Do One Thing Well." I don't know you, but Pam Cohn recommended your blog to me. I am working with Warringah for 2 years, and have been really struggling with the two games here. Thanks to my passive aggressive behavior, it was recently brought to the forefront. Your wisdom and thoughts are really encouraging and helpful. Thanks for writing.

Sammie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Brian, I am always reading on bloglines but felt I needed to comment here. My opinon is, If you haven't already, just tell him. Unless you see some way that it will harm him. It sounds like he will ask more questions.

Anonymous said...

Brian, I am always reading on bloglines but felt I needed to comment here. My opinon is, If you haven't already, just tell him. Unless you see some way that it will harm him. It sounds like he will ask more questions.

john dobbs said...

Brian, as always ... you bring out the heart of the matter. I can see from the way you expressed your thoughts about this that your heart is in the right place. Your attitude toward this brother so far away is a blessing as I think about it. God bless you.