Sunday, June 04, 2006

How Jesus Transforms...How I Join Him

Disciple: I am such an incompetent weakling. Why would you invest in me when I promise to be so difficult, so resistant, so ungrateful, and so quick to turn against you?
 
Master: Because I believe in you. Your difficulties, resistances, ingratitude, and momentary betrayals have nothing to do with me. They have to do with you not seeing what God sees in you. But I have eyes that can see nothing else.
 
Disciple: How will you get me past my limiting beliefs? My wounds? My fears? My defensiveness? I have seen how horribly these things control me.
 
Master: I will stay with you through it all. Until you can see what I see.
 
Disciple: What if I say no? What if I refuse you outright? What if my fear and pride make me choose the life of pretending and call it freedom?
 
Master: I will stay with you through it all. Until you can see what I see.
 
Disciple: What if I spitefully rebel against you to get you to leave me alone? What if I rally others and convince them that your "ways" are not good and I get a whole army of people to agree with me?
 
Master: I will stay with you through it all. Until you can see what I see.
 
Disciple: What if I attack you outright? What if I kill you for wanting to change me? And what if I get many others to agree to help me?
 
Master: I will die willingly at your hand. It is not in me to fight you, or hurt you, or defend myself against you. And my submission to death by your own hand will be the ultimate proof to you that I will stay with you through it all. Until you can see what I see.
 
Disciple: But you will be gone. What if, instead of being inspired by your humble submission to an inferior, I pridefully think that I was right? You will be gone. What will you do then.
 
Master: I will rise from the dead. And I will stay with you through it all. Until you can see what I see.
 
Disciple: Teacher, you are much to high of a creature to do such things for a lowly man such as me! Why would you do such a horrible and wonderful thing?
 
Master: Because I am Truth and I am Love. I am incapable of doing any other thing.
 
Disciple: Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man! I can not bear the thought of walking through this fire that will come if I stay with you! It is too much for me!
 
Master: It is too much for you, but it is not too much for me. I will stay with you through it all. I will bear it all. Until you can see what I see. Walk into the fire that you work so hard to avoid. It is a consuming fire, able to burn away all your sins. It is a refining fire, able to shape you into my own image. It is a painful fire, to be sure, but it is good. And soon, my disciple, you will lead others into this same fire, those I will send you to.
 
Disciple: And what am I to do then?
 
Master: You are to do then to them, what I am doing now to you. You are to give up everything and be my disciple. You are to be Truth and Love. You are to be incapable of doing any other thing. My promise to you is that it will be life, and it will be life to the full.
 
Disciple: This is a hard thing to believe, Teacher. And you believe this to be true for everyone?
 
Master: Do you want to leave?
 
Disciple: Where would I go? You have the words of eternal life. My heart stirs when you speak. My mind races when you talk. My soul swells at the sound of your voice. My strength returns only when I listen to you. Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.
 
 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It almost seems like a "God Thing" to be sitting here reading your last blog when you added this one. It speaks to me so deeply. I sit at my computer at almost midnight asking many of these same questions. I can't sleep...or do much of anything for that matter. I am at such a sad place and I find myself asking a lot of these questions. Thanks for the new insight.