I want to be you

"I want to you be you." - spoken to me by Shade Canon Mashburn, my son

 

There is a baby in the Ukraine I met yesterday. When it was born, it was likely to die without one of those clear, plastic, medical baby-bed things, and they didn't have one. There is a guy in Amarillo,TX , who's name I don't know, who said he was moved by God to give a sum of money to another guy in Amarillo named Jimmy, telling him to use it for God in whatever way he deems best. Jimmy gratefully accepts it, and calls a guy he knows in the Ukraine named Roger, telling him to use this money in whatever way he deemed best. Roger happens to know that baby I found out about yesterday. He used the money to buy one of those clear, plastic, medical baby-bed things and gives it to the family with the baby. I met that little baby in a picture of her lying in that baby-bed thing yesterday. And I was moved to tears that God knew where that baby was, what her need was, and then met it with the a chain of events initiated on the other side of the planet.

 

There is a baby in Amarillo that I met yesterday. It's the new daughter of my friends Kyle and Jennifer, and her name is Ellee. She is beautiful and her parents were shining after a tough day of labor. She arrived safely, surrounded by love and more than enough medical equipment and doctors and qualified people to handle anything that might happen to her that would possibly put her in jeopardy. I wasn't moved to tears, but I was very conscious and moved that God knew where that baby was, what her needs were, and then met it right here in Amarillo.

 

I am amazed at how God works in the lives of people here on this planet, that He being so big and great would pay such detailed attention to us. I am also humbled with the natural questions about why He does what He does, and how He does it, knowing that there are many stories of newborn babies in all the nations that are much more amazing and unlikely, but also many that are as amazingly tragic and without happy endings.

 

I long ago stopped trying judge the unseen reality of things by the seen, satisfying my sense of injustice with blind faith that it is only my sense of things. My feelings are real, but they are not always right. I have learned and seen that God is both real and right...even if I don't understand it. What I have seen gives me faith in what I cannot see.

 

There is another baby that was born 6 years ago today that made this visible, fleshly life very, very dangerous for me. It raised the stakes for me living in this material world in such dramatic fashion, that I literally had to re-orient myself to find peace. This baby, a boy born in Houston, TX, was put into my hands and given the title "my son". Shew! What a day! The love that came rushing into my heart scared me. I think I've said before that it was like my heart's most vulnerable spot was put into flesh and now resides outside of me where it is dangerously out of my control.

 

What a day.

 

I was very conscious and moved to tears that God knew where that baby was, and what his needs were, and that He was saying to me that He was meeting them, partially at least, by putting that boy in my hands. I sometimes still wonder what He was thinking.

 

My wife and I called the little boy Shade Canon Mashburn, and the last 6 years have been unbelievable excitement, adventures, and thrills. I really think I have learned more through him in these last 6 years than I did in my 32 years before. Maybe not more "head knowledge", but for sure tons more heart stuff. I am just plainly and simply a better human being because of that day, more closely aligned with the heart of my Father in Heaven.

 

So, Shade, this day is for you, buddy. You have taught me so much... about love, passion, authority, friendship, sharing, teaching, learning, playing, patience, perseverance, curiosity, desire, consequences, and discipline...to name a few things. Happy Birthday, Buddy. I am so proud of you, and honored to be called your dad.

 

I want to be you.