"He teaches us both discipline and obedience however we force Him to." - Oswald Chambers
“Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” -- 1 Kings 19:11-13
Residing in my head are several voices screaming for my attention. There are hundreds, actually, but my mind groups many of them into one solitary voice that is asking for a particular focus from me.
The first of these voices I will name “Revolution”. It invites me to the rare, lofty, value-centered, counter-cultural, life-changing things that I feel blessed to have the opportunity to even think about. This is a highly personal voice. Others rarely know that this voice is inviting me to its work unless I reveal it to them. And even then they would not think of holding me accountable to heeding this voice, because it would be so costly to me and those around me (oftentimes including them) that they feel it’s beyond their ‘right’ to do so. These things are faithful to the purity of the term “revolution”…and acting on them would create change, fallout, resistance, excitement, fear, and (hopefully) freedom…first in myself, then in others. This voice calls to things that are idealistic and I rarely summon the courage to fight for and actually do them.
Another voice I will call “Important”. It invites me to things that are typically as personal and hidden as Revolutionary things, though once someone starts to get to know me and my values well, they might actually sense my need and desire for them to point them out and help me see them through. This voice is always present and there is always a list of things that it is pointing me to. The things themselves are characterized by their attainability, but also by their lack of urgency that oftentimes keeps them undone. I guess that these are the “should do’s” that I referred to in a previous piece a few weeks ago. I love these things. I know that they are mine alone to do, and feel a sense of “on-targetness” when doing them. But they are constantly getting subverted by…
…the voice I will call “Interruption”. Don’t let the name fool you, it is not always inviting me to meaningless, small, or distracting busy work. This voice is oftentimes calling me (maybe even directing me) to do what I need to be doing in that moment. However, the things it invites me to are primarily characterized by their urgent nature, and admittedly, ARE often just busy work. I pretty much ignore Interruption when it falls into the category of busy work, although I heed it sometimes when I want to be distracted, or desire the illusion of accomplishment by beginning and finishing something small. Interruption is screaming, for me, usually when the thing it is inviting me to has a personal name. It is when the interruption’s name is Callie, or John, or Mary, or Joe that I struggle with whether to call it direction or distraction. Occasionally, I stop listening to all other voices and only listen to this one, and let it dictate my day…and on those occasions I wonder if I’m acting irresponsibly or in faith. Get it?
That’s enough voices for today…they are the three loudest, for me, for sure, and I am grateful to all of them. They have each played a part in leading me to a very satisfying existence of love, and I am grateful for their presence and even the dilemma they put me in.
Through them, God is teaching me about discipline and obedience, and He is also teaching me about humility and grace.
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